Warcraft Experience

and gives us another strong vocabularly-laced article from SomethingAwful.

Hot Topic: The Ahn’Qiraj War Effort

Beetle Mania is sweeping over WoW! The Gates of Ahn’Qiraj (pronounced An, followed by a cough) requires players from both the Horde and Alliance to work together, donating various resources to their collective War Machines. This may seem disasterous to the many who realize that World of Warcraft is as much about teamwork as it is blenders. The very idea that the Horde and Alliance, who have been slaying each other only last week, will now team up to go kill bugs is a bit daft, but many are trying regardless. Let’s find out how the Role Playing PVP server Maelstrom is managing it, shall we?

January 6th, 2005

Salutations Throk!

Never I imagined I would write to you words of unity during my lifetime, but we cannot oppose another and hope to conquer the Slithid at the same time. Throk, it does my heart good to write to you something other than the difficulties we have against you in the Forums, or engaging in our timeless bickering of who ruined the last Kazzak attempt. I understand that we have engaged in conflict over what seems like trivial matters in the past, but now is the time to unite for one common cause: the big fence of Ahn’Qiraj & the Scepter of the Sands.

Let us put behind our tumoltous pasts, of raiding each others orphanages during Children’s Week, or The No-Fly Zone incident that was enacted on all of Kalimdor last June. Together, the Alliance and Horde, must pause the bounties placed upon our mutual scalps and foreskins if we are to make that thing Shiromar told us about. Our guild, The Light’s Shadow Esquire looks forward to working with you and the rest of the Horde might, in hopes of removing the Slithius incursion & saving this world once and for all, to achieve the peace we’ve strived for. My question to you is, how do you propose we work together in defeating this menace?

Hail Broonan,

It is good to finally see you have admitted defeat, and decide to come begging the Horde for its assistance. I will admit however that our prophecies, long foretold in our Teamspeak channels, did not expect to see the Humans plead so soon! But we lack the hours to speak of your many failures as a race, or to bask in the achievements of ours. So, let us focus on the task at hand - subduing whatever ancient lord Blizzard made up this time.

Our guild Betray And Destroy Mans, tire of our weekly two hour trips to Blackwing Lair, and it would appear that if we are going to boast about being months ahead of you and your shoddily equipped menagerie, we will need your assistance in unlocking the dungeons. So accordingly, I have issued a decree for our legions of soldiers to immediately cease slaying your compatriots, and start collecting the various knick knacks that our Quartermaster deems fitting.

Let us not regret this decision to ally with you, you pathetic husk of an avatar.

A must read for all of us. Check out the rest of the article here.